I'm gonna get mighty thin so calories beware (Well I never thought I'd see the day you fit into a chair) I will not be over weight like I was before For starters now when I look down I will see the floor (Man boobs are such an unattractive thing) Oh I just can't wait to be thin No one saying tubby, no one saying fatty No more saying "can I have an extra patty" I want to run all the way to the end of my driveway (I think it's time that you cut your cholesterol in half) Well I ain't eating nothing that hasn't been fried in animal lard (I know it won't be easy man but you just have to try Or how else will you catch the ice cream truck when it drives by I hope you know you've got a double chin) Oh I just can't wait to be thin You can try and step left, you can try and step right Everywhere you step I'm still blocking your sight The road will be long and challenging, every morning I''ll go for a swim No more supersizing anything, oh I just can't wait to be thin I just can't wait to be thin, oh I just can't wait to be thin

I did a fart oh yes I did In my undies and it left a skid I thought this time, I nearly did a poo Yeah my undies split when I let one rip and I'm pretty sure I did a little shit I thought This time, I don't know what to do I tried to squeeze some gas through my butt hole but I nearly did a shit You shouldn't have pulled my finger I think all thought we'd get a laugh But it was a ripper and it really ponged But you shouldn't have pulled my finger I think you pulled a little bit too hard Next time you'll remember Not to pull too hard cause you made me do a shart The next one came out of my butt while you were in the middle of lunch You told me that it's really not so funny But I thought it was and you cracked a smile cause you admit that it had been a while Since I had farted on your lunch So next time your mate least expects it Drop your your guts right in his face or tell him to pull your finger Everyone there will have a laugh It might just start to linger if it really pongs So come on and pull my finger Everyone's done it once before Make sure you remember Not to pull too hard, you only wanna do a fart You can realise just in time That some curry mixed with wine And some baked beans might smell bad But they don't smell as bad as mine And I'm a little bit tired of hearing That I should grow up and act my age I'm pretty sure my Grandma still farts So somebody pull her finger Everyone there will have a laugh It might just start to linger if it really pongs So come on and pull a finger Everyone's done it once before Make sure you remember Not to pull too hard, you'll be leaving a skid mark You'll be leaving a skid mark You'll be leaving a skid mark

I pulled up at the amber when I probably could have gone I thought I'm in no hurry man, so I wont do nothing wrong And how does God repay me for my law abiding ways ? I spent the whole damn afternoon waiting for the lights to change I've been waiting, waiting for the lights to change Just kept on waiting, waiting for the lights to change And it's building my frustration, so I end my indication And just keep waiting, waiting for the lights to change I've been here for an hour, or so it would seem I swear I'm gonna grow a beard by the time the lights are green When the guy behind me honks I suddenly see the line And I'm not even in the sensor and this is fucken why I've been waiting, waiting for the lights to change Just kept on waiting, waiting for the lights to change I feel like a moron cause everyone here could have gone But they kept on waiting, waiting for the lights to change I've been waiting, waiting for the lights to change Just kept on waiting, waiting for the lights to change Now we're stuck in position till they make a transition We'll keep on waiting, waiting for the lights to change Waiting for the lights to change, waiting for the lights to change

Get your oven hot 900g of sweet potato chopped 20g of butter will be melting in the pan Throw some onion in A table spoon of harissa spicy blend Roll the pasty out consistency is what it's all about Grab a carrot, chop it up, add cinnamon and.. You make a gourmet pie You make a gourmet pie You make a gourmet pie It will taste great, I cannot wait The very smell is gonna make me salivate We're gonna eat it up Add lamb mince meat Buy the premium it can't be beat Let your grill preheat Get out a baking dish and add the meat We'll be eating soon Add olive oil, just a table spoon Grill it for 2 minutes 'til golden brown and... You make a gourmet pie You make a gourmet pie You make a gourmet pie We're gonna eat so take a seat It's gonna be the best pie you ever taste We're gonna eat it up So eat it up, give it a little blow if it's too hot Eat it up - WHOA! Chew it up, Chomp, Chomp Bet you've never had better? You ate a gourmet pie You ate a gourmet pie You make a gourmet pie It tasted great, I'm glad we ate My finger's greasy and I'm lickin' the plate Add some gravy Incoherent deliciousness You, You You made a gourmet pie You, You You should add bread crumbs You, You Should try and add bread crumbs You, You Now you owe me ten bucks Cause you ate it up

I got pills and I'm supplying And if you got the dough I got powder you'll be trying - It's intensifying You better rack up cause I need a line And some goey will be fine You better rack up some amphetamine Let's get on the acid too Not enough drugs, not enough drugs for me and you And I wanna smoke pot I wanna smoke pot - ooh, ooh, ooh Yeah I wanna smoke pot I wanna smoke pot - ooh, ooh, ooh I wanna smoke pot I wanna smoke pot - ooh, ooh, ooh Cause I love weed, Oh yes indeed, Yeah Summer Drugging, had me a blast Summer drugging, we got on the gas I met a girl and we smoked some weed Took off our clothes and did LSD In a haze drifting away, ooh-ah but we smoked all the ice! Oh well, oh well, oh well, We'll get more, we'll get more and it's not very far We'll get more, we'll get more lets all get in the car

I walked down the street the other day, Johnny came the other way He said "I'm throwing a party man and do you wanna go ?" I don't what i'm doing so i'll see what I'm doing And if I'm not doing anything I'm probably gonna go It's funny how a few drinks changes how one thinks When he's got a lighter and he needs to fart So when we went out the back, I exposed my butt crack Everybody stand back, this is gonna blow now He lit a fart on fire Gas was burning and his guts were churning He lit a fart on fire When it ignited we tried to fight it Out of my butt came ventilating methane It was getting insane, people had to run There was an eruption, spontaneous combustion Look at the destruction, could it be any more fun? Felt like someones bowlin' something down my colon In recollection it probably wasn't all that wise But even though the situation is getting kinda frightening At least I am providing some kind of lighting He lit a fart on fire Gas was burning and his guts were churning He lit a fart on fire When it ignited we tried to fight it Soon became emergency, water needed urgently People running for their lives, I got charged with homicide Because several people died, can't you see the funny side? Smoke cloud began to grow, visibility was low Get down low and Go Go Go ! Did not know Cocker Spaniels could be so inflammable Dinner will not be long I hope you wanted hot dogs Next time I'll be more aware, Next time I will prepare Next time I'll wear underwear and make sure no one's standing there He lit a fart on fire Gas was burning and his guts were churning He lit a fart on fire When it ignited we tried to fight it Frightened people everywhere, Smoke and ashes filled the air I stubbed my big toe on a chair and singed off all my pubic hair Did not know my anatomy correlates with chemistry It was a surprise to me, my gastric capacity Some times I underestimate sometimes I don't contemplate All the actions that I take and consequences that I make He lit a fart on fire Gas was burning and his guts were churning He lit a fart on fire When it ignited we tried to fight it Thank you for a great night, glad I was invited I apologise everything was ignited You will thank me one day for all of your endurance When you claim your home and contents insurance I'm sensing some hostility being directed at me Hey, you all got in for free and you all got on TV I think I put my back out, the whole town had a black out I've never felt this pain before and now my arsehole's really sore He lit a fart on fire Gas was burning and his guts were churning He lit a fart on fire And the night goes on and still it pongs, it pongs, it pongs It pongs, it pongs, it pongs, it pongs, it pongs, it pongs He lit a fart on fire Gas was burning and his guts were churning He lit a fart on fire When it ignited we tried to fight it

Well I'm a runnin' down the road tryin' to blow my load I got seven women on my mind But four are fucken ugly and two they kinda bug me And one may be a lesbian But they're all easy, They're all easy And most of them are keen for a 3-way Light a spliff while you still can And just hope they weren't born a man Just find a place to put your hand and get it greasy She was standin' on the corner workin' for a dollar Such a fine sight to see Well this girl my lord is one I sure can afford But I would rather take one home for free C'mon baby don't say maybe Do you take it up the butt or are you lazy? You are loose and you are thin and I'll never again So open up and I'll stick it in, in your cheesy! Knee slappin' redneck solo Well I'm a runnin' down the road tryin' to blow my load Got a world of trouble on my mind Lookin' for a lover where I don'y need a rubber It's so hard to find It's not easy when they're easy Don't let the sight of they're bad teeth get ya queezy C'mon baby, let's make gravy You know I still give you a go even if you're 80 Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh AWWW!

Terrorists take over a plane, passengers held for ransom And the president is called on the phone And is told that he will have to pay Up the front there was this guy, quietly devising a plan Little do they know this guy was trained Trained to kill and he might save the day It's the guy called MacGyver and he'll put up a fight Blow you up with a pencil and a lighter Hook it up to a toaster and a car battery And he'll blow you right to the sky - it's MacGyver Up he stood and fly kicked some guy strangled him with a shoelace Deflecting bullets with a knife and a fork Killed them all in the blink of an eye It's the guy called MacGyver and he'll kill you tonight All he needs is a peg or a screwdriver Sideshow Bob says it's "clap trap" but I think that he's wrong I wish that I was the guy called MacGyver But today all that you see on TV is reality There's no script now there's no dialog And there's nobody saving the day Where's the guy called Macgyver when you need him the most Free us all from the evil of X-Factor The lowest common denominator, mind numbing shite Who'll poke them all in the eye? It's MacGyver The guy called MacGyver Watch out for Patty and Selma